Obsession

“Work out because you love your body,

Not because you hate it.”

When I was battling depression, I literally traded my health for my looks and it almost killed me.  However, at the time, I didn’t care about that.  I just wanted to be thin and didn’t think about the long-term consequences of how I was abusing my body.  Isn’t that how we think and act sometimes when we want to lose weight? Ironically, we are willing to sacrifice our health to “look healthy”.

In this quest to look good at all costs we often treat health like it’s a destination with a fixed end.  It’s almost as if we believe that one day we will simply be deemed “healthy” and that is the end of the whole ordeal.  That we can adopt certain practices once we reach our goal.

This is a huge mistake! It encourages things like dangerous diets and diet supplements, as well as super intense fitness programs that aren’t appropriate for most people.  Plus, it contributes to whole host of issues concerning negative body image that leave you feeling like you are not enough.

While it is never good to carry too much excess weight and there is certainly nothing wrong with having weight loss goals, the fact is, true health encompasses so much more than just your dress size.  It is about doing things every day to create a lifestyle that allows you to experience vitality and vibrancy.  And while this includes things you would normally associate with being healthy, like eating whole foods and exercising, it is also about adopting practices that will allow you to be healthy on the inside.

Think about it like this, I’m sure you have been on a diet at some point in your life.  At first this diet probably helped you lose a little weight.  But did this diet really make you healthy?  Did it address any of your inner struggles that contributed to you wanting to lose weight in the first place?  Probably not.

For me, part of the reason I made myself sick after I ate was because I thought it would make me look better.  However, there was so much more to my depression than just wanting to look good.  The truth is, I fooled myself into thinking that if I could look a certain way that everything else in my life would magically be better.  Things like poor body image, my negative inner-dialogue, my low self-esteem.  That it would all disappear.

However, rather than my poor eating habits helping with these things, it just made them worse.  It wasn’t until I focused on changing my internal thoughts, emotions and habits on the inside, that I was able to get healthy on the outside.

This is not being taught in the fitness industry or portrayed in society.  Instead, it is about what you look like on the outside and how quickly you can lose enough weight to rock a bikini.  Or it is the latest “breakthrough” diet that will help you eat whatever you want and still lose incredible amounts of weight.  What about the side effects of these “get-thin-quick” programs?  No one ever seems to talk about that.  The conversation should be focused on the choices that you make to ensure lasting health and wellness for the rest of your life, not just for a short period of time.

“The fitness industry operates under the assumption that everyone moves the same way.  What works for one person will work for another.”

My Dilemma

I was facing a real dilemma.  I am a mentor and wellness coach with a crisis of conscious.  I had come to the conclusion that the “look-good-at-all-costs” approach to fitness was the worst way to do things.  It had not only been detrimental to my health and well-being, but also countless others.  I needed to find a more effective way to help myself and my clients get healthy.  But I am now fighting against an industry that spends billions of dollars convincing people that they are broken and needed fixing.  That they are not enough.  As I see it, there are two major problems with the fitness industry that are preventing people from achieving real long-lasting results.

First, the fitness industry generally does not value your individuality.  Nowhere is this more apparent than in the structure that it tends to apply to its classes.  If you go to gyms and fitness centres all around the world you would see the same kind of classes, taught by the same kind of people, with the same kind of expectations and instructions.  These classes emphasize copying a leader rather than moving in a way that makes sense for each individual client.  They operate under the assumption that everyone moves the same way and that what works for one person will work for another.

However, when you move your body you should always ask yourself how the movement makes you feel?  Is it something that will work for you?  Is it right for your body?  These types of questions are typically absent from most classes because the fitness industry does not tend to concern itself with something as “trivial” as an individual person’s feelings and abilities.  And sadly, many fitness instructors are too arrogant to believe that their clients might actually know more about the best way to move their bodies than they do.  Let me assure you, when it comes to your body, no one knows more than you.  You are the expert.

My Revelation

True beauty is an essence.  An understanding of your true worth and value.  A liberating state of mind that allows you to be exactly who you are without worrying about what others think, or how they might judge you.

True Health Begins on the Inside

The second major problem with the fitness industry is that in addition to not allowing for creativity or individuality, it focuses almost entirely on a person’s outward appearance.  Yet, as I have mentioned about my own experience, this is totally the wrong way to look at being healthy and beautiful.

When I was making myself sick I may have looked healthy or thin on the outside but I wasn’t remotely healthy on the inside.  The truth is, I wasn’t healthy on the outside either.  The constant sickness depleted my body of much needed nutrition and caused all kinds of problems.  I had migraines, acne, psoriasis and stomach ulcers etc.  I was a complete mess.  I assure you there is so much more to being healthy than just trying to look good.  To be truly healthy you need to begin on the inside and work your way out.  Meaning, you have to cultivate practices in your life that allow your body to function at its best.  For me, that meant being more present with the things I was doing.  Whether that was how I was exercising, how I was eating, how I was talking to myself and even how I was interacting with others.

For example, when I was struggling with depression, I used to shovel food into my mouth so quickly that I wouldn’t even taste it.  However, when I decided to be more present with my food, I slowed down and savoured every bite.  I started asking myself how the food I was eating would make me feel.  Was it something that was good for my body? Was it something that I needed?

This practice really changed my perspective on food.  It allowed me to stop looking at food as some kind of enemy but as a friend. I no longer feel the urge to binge or mindlessly stuff food into my mouth.  I am able to make food choices based on what will make me feel better.  This paradigm shift in how I eat has had a huge impact on me and has transformed my relationship with food.  Don’t get me wrong, I still love cookies.  However, if I feel like a cookie, I only eat one or two, rather than the whole batch.

In other areas of my life, I take time for myself each day to think about who I want to be, and the happiness I want to experience.  These quiet moments of meditation are extremely powerful as they allow me to recognize my own true worth and beauty and to reinforce the truth that I am enough.  That I can love myself.

You can experience this too.  When you cultivate a healthy inner world, your outer world almost magically takes care of itself.  And even though this often means your body will naturally drop unhealthy weight, like it did for me.  It is not about achieving a specific size or shape.  Instead, it is about an essence.  An understanding of your true worth and value.  A liberating state of mind that allows you to be exactly who you are without worrying about what others think, or how they might judge you.  An intuitiveness about who you are and what your body needs to be truly healthy.

When you stop worrying about what others think so much and give yourself permission to think, move and act in a way that your body is telling you to, that is when magic can happen.  It happened for me and I know it can happen for you too.